CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA--- An angry Judge Smails, GM of the Flag Twirling Heroes, held a press conference early this morning to inspire the team and it's fans. This week's game against the hated IanFro/WhateverHisTeamNameIsThisWeek does have playoff implications, but it did appear that Smails had a personal grudge against "M-A" the owner/mascot of the IanFro.
Smails had an elaborate multi-media presentation to accompany his often profane remarks. Things seemed to be going smoothly and Smails broke down the position by position battles, pointing out how the Flag Twirling Heroes are the statistical favorite at nearly every position for this week's game. The GM seemed to lose his cool as he neared the end of his remarks, which no longer referred to the game on the field, but instead focused solely on "M-A" the opposing GM.
"Frankly speaking, this guy pisses me off," said Smails. "This douche puts out his own weekly rankings, and tries to write favorable things about some teams just to get people to stop taunting him. That's pretty ****ing weak."
"He's always whining about things like 'It's not a video game, these are real people,'" Smails continued. "Well, in that case jackoff, let's take a look at some really real people" With that Smails showed this series of horrifying slides.
"I can't believe this waste of space has the nerve to taunt anyone about football," Smails snarled. "Anyone who was lucky enough to get the top pick and have Tomlinson and E. James on the same team would automatically be in first place. This dick has them in 3rd place and is acting like he's some sort of a genius. He's not."
"It's a complete mystery why someone would listen to this guy talk about football, just look at him--he's clearly a moron."Smails then went into a profanity-laced tirade on what GM "M-A" could do with himself this weekend (most of which is unprintable).
He concluded with one final picture and a promise on behalf of team and organization: "There's no ****ing way we're losing to this putz!" Smail then turned, kicked over the podium, threw his notebook at this image on the screen, and gave it a double middle finger salute before marching out of the press room to a standing ovation.
