A Jack-Off

So, is Jack Abramoff a dick, or what?

Here’s his story in brief. Trust me, the more you read about him the more you’ll hate him. Let this will serve as your foundation of Abramoff hatred:

• So he takes over $80 million from Indian tribes and pretty much screws them over. Plus he lies about his income and doesn’t pay over $1.7 million in taxes, screwing all of us.

• Uses the money to buy sky boxes at DC area sporting evens (further proving Redskins fans are losers), then gives tickets to lawmakers and their staff --which blatantly exceeds the $49.99 limit on gifts.

• Was a co-investor in a FL casino-boats company that went bankrupt--this got him one of his current indictments (so far he’s plead guilty on three others). He faked a $23 million wire transfer to convince his partners that he was good for the money. One of the group was found murdered by the mob (I guess I can’t really blame Abramoff for that part)

• Took his favorite legislator, Tom DeLay, and others to a paid trip to St. Andrews golf course in Scotland. DeLay has the cojones to report to Congress that the nature of the trip was “educational” and called it a “fact-finding” trip. DeLay, currently under indictment in Texas for election campaign fraud, had the nerve to say “I have always acted in an ethical manner” as he was being forced to resign his post as House majority leader.

• Abramoff bought a couple DC area restaurants which he ran into the ground, and which he used to break the above $49.99 limit rule a few thousand times.

• In the process of screwing over Indian tribes by bilking them of millions in exchange for lobbying for casinos he managed to start playing tribes off one another. He was paid by a Louisiana tribe to help close a casino in Texas. To accomplish his task, he partnered with Ralph Reed, head of the Christian Coalition.

Fair reader, you might think that was an odd person to include in a deal funded by gambling. You’re right, but the money made it okay to Reed and his partners.

• Reed passed on money, flyers, mailings, and other anti-gambling literature to preachers and churches throughout Texas, asking them to put pressure on their Congressmen to help close the Texas casino. They laundered the money through several organizations (some set up by Abramoff and fellow jackass Michael Scanlon) so the preachers wouldn’t know that their anti-casino crusade was indeed funded by a casino.

• In emails between Abramoff, Reed, and Scanlon (Abramoff’s partner in scamming over $4.2 million from the LA Indian tribe), they referred to the Indians as “monkeys,” “idiots,” and “troglodytes.” Abramoff giddily wrote “these mofos are the stupidest idiots in the land for sure." "we need to get some money from those monkeys!!"

So, keep all of this in mind as you hear his name on the news over the next few months. Enjoy watching Republican Congressmen and Senators scurry away from this as they try to save themselves, and keep an eye out for the DeLay-Abramoff link over Saipan. They passed a bill a few years back that allowed goods produced in Saipan to be labeled “Made In America” but not have to follow U.S. laws such as minimum wages and working conditions. ABC reported that the island brings in the very affordable workers from China, and that some companies were basically forcing workers to have abortions to keep them working in Saipan.

Hooray for the party of big business.

And don't worry, I'll get back to the normal Nightputting as soon as possible. Maybe find a link of a kid hitting his dad in the nuts with a nerf bat or something.